Hello sovereign creators. Thanks for tuning in. I’m your host Alice Kim, and this is Episode 15 titled with the question, “Do You Love Yourself?” This is one of the biggest questions you’ll need to answer if you want to be free. The good news is, you’ll never have to guess because the answers are always right in front you in the form of your reality.


The Heart of Your Miscreations

In this show, the Matrix is an umbrella term that stands for the network of collective and individual consciousness that interweave to create the tapestry that we know as reality. Within this Matrix are submatrices and supermatrices and inner and outer matrices and all kinds of layers and levels that probably have no end.

But all of that doesn’t matter because they’re all just illusions created by mind, and making illusions more complicated will only get you more lost in illusion. And as this show is about clearing the way out of the jungle of illusion and releasing into freedom, the only parts of the Matrix that I’m concerned with are the ones that directly obstruct our freedom, our joy, our peace, and our eternal right as sovereign creators to live and be happily every after.

And as much as things, events and people outside of us have an influence on our life, I always go back to the fact that we need to stop pointing the finger out there at them and point it back on ourselves. Why? Because nothing can happen without your permission, your allowing it to happen. So taking back the responsibility upon ourselves is the first step to being sovereign, because to shirk responsibility is to be a victim, and a victim can never be a victor.

So the only Matrix that you need to release is ultimately the one within, and the biggest and deepest layer or level within yourself that directly influences all the structures in your mind… in other words, the foundation that affects the entire structure of your reality – is your inability to love yourself.

You don’t love yourself. When I found this out, it was such a shock and at the same time so freeing in that it revealed to me the reason why my life was the way it was. It was the missing puzzle piece that all of a sudden put the whole picture in focus and showed me how I’ve been creating – or more like miscreating – my world.

I didn’t love myself. This simple reason was what made my life so often complicated and conflicting with a constant background hum, this white noise of not okay. And I would venture to say that if that’s how you also feel in your life, which is most likely a hell yes – I mean, literally a yes to hell – then it’s time to examine all the ways in which you also don’t love yourself.

This thing we call life is an illusion, an illusion that’s there to help us to return back to who we are, back to wholeness. And it does this by reflecting back to us in form what’s really going on in the formless reality of our consciousness. It’s like a mirror or an echo. Whatever you look like inside is what you see out here. Whether you whisper or shout, that’s what you’re going to hear back. And if you don’t like what you see and hear, you can’t blame and attack the mirror or fight the echo, because it’s all coming from you.

So let’s stop fighting imaginary enemies and see your present reality for what it is, for what you are. No matter how rough and tough and unfair your world looks like, let that be your guide into the terrain of your inner landscape. The only way to disconnect from the Matrix is to actually step right in and walk right through it so that you can return to your true Self that’s under, above, between, around, and beyond it.


The Matrix Is All the Ways You Don't Love Yourself

This business of not loving yourself is the heart of your miscreations. Your reality is simply a reflection of what’s really going on inside you, and if the world appears unfriendly and unloving, it’s because you’re unfriendly and unloving to yourself. It’s as simple as that.

I mentioned earlier about seeing yourself as victim – that’s not loving yourself. That’s admitting that you’re someone who gets abused and gets taken advantage of by others because you don’t deserve to be loved and respected. If you you didn’t believe it, why would you let it happen?

If you’re looking for love outside yourself, whether from people, pets, whatever, you don’t love yourself. In fact, good luck, ‘cause you’re never going to find it. You may go through different faces at different phases and places in your life, but the general arc of your relationships will be more or less the same in that you’re always going to be wanting love. 

You see, as long as the engine of your creation is run by lack of self-love, you’re going to have to keep it going by feeding this engine with the fuel it needs, which is more lack of self-love. This is the reason why people who leave abusive relationships continue to attract new abusive relationships. I’m sorry to say this, but it’s not them nor the relationship – it’s you.

And you can say, “Oh, how can you be so heartless,” but you know what? You’re either a creator or you’re a victim, and you have got to choose what you want, and right now, you choose not to love yourself. This may not sound compassionate at all to people who are asleep (because it’s always backwards like that over there in the world of unconsciousness) but from an awakened perspective, this is as compassionate as I can get – to show you what’s going on and letting you know that you have options. So you can stop playing the victim and start being a victorious Creator – but only if you choose.

Moving on….

If you seek approval and validation from others, that’s not loving yourself. And you may say that you’re cool and you’re beyond this need for approval and external validation, but I’d like to challenge that. I’m so fucking tired of people who talk a good talk and quote fluffy affirmations while staring at themselves in the mirror… remember a sketch called “Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley” from Saturday Night Live back in the 90s? “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it, people like me.” (I’ll post a video clip of that back on the website.)

"I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me."

People can say anything they want to say about how much they love and respect themselves, but once again, the proof of the pudding is in the eating, honey, and that eating is the life you’re living, it’s the reality that you’re experiencing. And how does that look and feel right now? Would you say that it’s loving and peaceful and joyful and expansive… or not? You can say that your own life is your greatest bullshit detector… or truth detector… however you want to see it. And thank your Godself for that! 

I’m running out of time here because I want to keep it under 20 minutes, so I’ll have to start wrapping up… but here’s a few more.

How many times do you express love to others, prioritize your life for others, put them before you, yet you ignore yourself? People call that sacrifice and proudly wear it like a badge of honor when all it is is martyrdom, and that looks good on no one! I’m not saying to abandon your children and your family and be totally selfish (whatever that means to you), but your lack of self-respect and self-love is allowing you to be a feeding ground for everyone else who wants something from you. And here’s a tip to know if you’re being of true service as a Sovereign Creator or being trampled on as a martyr: How’s your energy level? Energized or drained?

I don’t hear hardly anyone accepting anything about themselves, especially their bodies. They hate their body – there's always some excuse why it’s not good enough. They always have to lose that extra five pounds. They eat something delicious and then turn around and get mad at themselves and feel guilty for a little enjoyment that they’d rather call indulging. To my horror the other day I had someone who called herself a pig after our lunch! They hate their voice, they hate their arms, nose… whatever it is. But I guess it’s kind of understandable because if you don’t love yourself, how can you love your body? And do you think you’re your body?

The Greatest Love of All

Most people don’t love themselves. They don’t accept themselves. They lack compassion for themselves. They’re incomplete. So they think they can get complete by giving to others who are also incomplete. They think that giving, being compassionate and loving others will make them whole, or that joining with another incomplete being will together create a whole.

But as long as you’re not loving yourself, there’s lack, and giving what you don’t have will only push you deeper into more lack, like try to give someone $50 when you only have $5 in your pocket, energetically speaking. And joining with another to pool together completion only looks that way for a while, but the union will always be one of mutual need and dependence, and that’s no way to be free. 

The only way to be free is to be sovereign, to be totally who you are. And lack of self-love is believing in all the things that you aren’t as told to you by others as a result of this very dependence upon them, and making it your truth. So if you wish to break free of this artificial Matrix and be complete unto yourself, it’s time to recognize and undo all the programming of not loving ourselves and to begin creating your own paradise that can only come from loving Self.

It’s not about being narcissistic, although ‘they’ will say so. It’s not about standing in front of the mirror admiring yourself, although you can do that – hey, why not appreciate yourself?… Nothing wrong with that. Self love is being who you are. It’s being authentic, because you accept everything about yourself. Because you’re being true to yourself.

And when you’re authentic with yourself, when you truly love yourself, you don’t have to say a word, because your Presence – your Authentic Presence – the fullness of who you are, will be felt by all. And because you’re so full and complete within yourself, as yourself, you won’t need or want anything outside of you because you’re now generating all the energy you need from within. You can say that you’re now living off the grid, the Matrix, because you’re no longer dependent on outside energies to fill you up.

The engine of your creation I referred to earlier is no longer run by the false, dirty trash of negative self-regard and lack of compassion – you feed dirty fuel, you get dirty emissions. Instead, your new creative engine is now supplied with highly refined cosmic grade self-love, which is the clearest and purest and most powerful energy source available – the energy that can only be created as you, God, love your Self. 

As you radiate the love that only a sovereign can have of yourself, a love that’s so whole that it has no opposites, you can now only smile at the reflection you see and the echo you hear as they show you a new reality that vibrates with the greatest love song of all – that of the love between heaven and earth, the paradise created between the love of self and Self.